Self control is the control of behaviour rather than thoughts or feelings.
Thoughts arise naturally and randomly. As long as you are alive, you have little to no control over thoughts. So, for, example, when you have an unskillful thought, the unskillful thought has already happened...so what can you do about it?
In a similar manner, emotions arise naturally and you have little control over the emotion that is present. By the time you are aware of an emotion, it has already been felt...so what can you do about it?
Thoughts are only known after they are thought; feelings are only known after they are felt.
This is not true of actions. Actions are chosen.
Actions are most often based on and excused by thoughts and feelings.
Watching thoughts and feelings without attachment allows you to choose to act skillfully.
If managing your behaviour choices is difficult, perhaps your coach can help!
